V
A cab had been sent for. Nadya in her hat and overcoat went to take one more look at her mother, at all her belongings. She stood in her own room beside her still warm bed, looked about her, then went slowly in to her mother. Nina Ivanovna was asleep; it was quite still in her room. Nadya kissed her mother, smoothed her hair, stood still for a couple of minutes … then walked slowly .
It was raining heavily. The cabman with the hood pulled down was standing at the , with rain.
“There is not room for you, Nadya,” said , as the servants began putting in the . “What an idea to see him off in such weather! You had better stop at home. Goodness, how it rains!”
Nadya tried to say something, but could not. Then Sasha helped Nadya in and covered her feet with a . Then he sat down beside her.
“Good luck to you! God bless you!” cried from the steps. “Mind you write to us from Moscow, Sasha!”
“Right. Goodbye, Granny.”
“The Queen of Heaven keep you!”
“Oh, what weather!” said Sasha.
It was only now that Nadya began to cry. Now it was clear to her that she certainly was going, which she had not really believed when she was saying goodbye to Granny, and when she was looking at her mother. Goodbye, town! And she suddenly thought of it all: Andrey, and his father and the new house and the naked lady with the ; and it all no longer her, nor weighed upon her, but was naive and trivial and continually retreated further away. And when they got into the railway carriage and the train began to move, all that past which had been so big and serious shrank up into something tiny, and a vast wide future which till then had been noticed began unfolding before her. The rain pattered on the carriage windows, nothing could be seen but the green fields, telegraph posts with birds sitting on the wires by, and joy made her hold her breath; she thought that she was going to freedom, going to study, and this was just like what used, ages ago, to be called going off to be a free Cossack.
She laughed and cried and prayed all at once.
“It’s a-all right,” said Sasha, smiling. “It’s a-all right.”