“Not So Much a Fool”
A man without a collar, wearing a white and holes in his elbows, walked into a Congress Street grocery last Saturday with a package in his hand and said:
“Here, , I bought two dozen eggs here this afternoon, and I find your made a mistake, I—”
“ here, Emil,” shouted the grocer, “you hof shentleman sheated mit dos rotten eggs. Gif him ein dozen more, und—”
“But you don’t understand me,” said the man, with a pleasant smile. “The mistake is the other way. The eggs are all right; but you have given me too many. I only paid for two dozen, and on reaching home I find three dozen in the sack. I want to return the extra dozen, and I came back at once. I—”
“Emil!” shouted the grocer again to his boy. “Gif man two dozen eggs at vonce. You haf sheated him mit pad eggs. Don’d you do dot any more times or I discharge you.”
“But, sir,” said the man with the white vest, anxiously. “You gave me too many eggs for my money, and I want to return a dozen. I am too honest to—”
“Emil,” said the grocer, “gif dis man t’ree dozen goot fresh eggs at vonce and let him go. Ve makes pad eggs good ven ve sells dem. Hurry up quick and put in drei or four extra vons.”
“But, listen to me, sir,” said the man. “I want to—”
“Say, frindt,” said the grocer in a lower voice, “you petter dake dose eggs und go home. I know you pring pack dose eggs for. If I dake dem, I say, ‘, dot is ein very good man; he honest py dose eggs, aind’t it?’ Den you coom pack Monday und you puy nine tollers’ vorth of vlour and paeon and canned goots, and you say you bay me Saturday night. I was not so much a tarn fool as eferypody say I look like. You petter dake dose t’ree dozen eggs and call it skvare. Ve always correct leedle misdakes ven ve make dem. Emil, you petter make it t’ree dozen und a half fur good measure, and put in two t’ree stick candy for die kinder.”