A Narrow Escape
A -looking man, with one eye and a , , entered a Houston while no one was in except the , and said:
“Excuse me, sir, but would you permit me to step behind the bar for just a moment? You can keep your eye on me. There is something there I wanted to look at.”
The was not busy, and humored him through curiosity.
The -looking man stepped around and toward the shelf back of the bar.
“Would you kindly remove that wine bottle and those glasses for a moment?”
The bartender did so, and a little streak on the shelf and a small hole bored for quite a distance into the wall.
“Thanks, that’s all,” said the meek man, as he went around to the front again.
He leaned thoughtfully on the bar and said: “I shot that hole in there just nine years ago. I came in feeling pretty and had no money. The bartender refused me a drink and I commenced firing. That ball went through his ear and five bottles of champagne before it stopped. I then yelled quite loudly, and two men broke their arms trying to get out the door, and the bartender trembled so when he mixed a drink for me you would have thought he was putting up a milk shake for a girl who wanted to catch a street car.”
“Yes?” said the bartender.
“Yes, sir, I am feeling a little out of sorts today, and it always makes me real cross and impatient when I get that way. A little and bitters always helps me. It was six times, I think, that I fired, the time I was telling you about. Straight whisky would do if the gin is out.”
“If I had any fly paper,” said the bartender, sweetly, “I would stick you on it and set you in the back window; but I am out, consequently, I shall have to adopt harsher measures. I shall tie a knot in this towel, and then count ten, and walk around the end of the bar. That will give you time to do your shooting, and I’ll see that you let out that same old yell that you spoke of.”
“Wait a moment,” said the meek man. “Come to think of it, my doctor ordered me not to drink anything for six weeks. But you had a narrow escape all the same. I think I shall go down to the next drug store and fall in a fit on the sidewalk. That’s good for some peppermint and aromatic spirits of ammonia, anyhow.”